Conviction and Squirrels

Posted on by tamaraweed

At church this year, in several of my Pastor’s messages, he said we needed to use our gifts for God. So, I said okay I’d love to use my writing for God. The problem was that I didn’t want to write about what I didn’t know and understand, and I didn’t want to just throw something out there. So, I figured I’d just pray about it and tell God that I’d love to write for His Glory, but I needed to know that what I was writing was coming from Him and not me. I didn’t hear any response, but I didn’t expect God to say, “Well it’s about time, Tamara…now write this”. What I did do, however, is what I’ve learned we should do, and that’s to just keep praying about it and being open to hearing God. I prayed and I did bible study in the meantime, growing in my understanding of God’s Word.

Here’s where I’d like to tell you a little bit about me, because it might help you understand me, and this. I rescue things…which is why I have 5 dogs (I used to have 6), and 7 cats. I also rescue rodents, and insects, and birds from the cats if I can. I even have a bird I rescued in 2016 in NM. I’m a sucker for a cute furry face and yes I think mice and even rats are cute… to an extent. I stop the car and move turtles to the side of the road, I drive slower (sometimes) to make sure I don’t hit a deer, racoon, possum, turtle, or squirrel.

To me, squirrels are sweet, cute, fun little creatures. I remember feeding them peanuts as a kid at my grandparents’ house. They’re adorable. Maybe there are some of you that don’t see them that way and feel they are pests. I get that they can be. In a lot of ways though, they’re like people. Some are better behaved than others, some are shy, some bold, and some have a mischievous way about them. One thing about them that you can be sure of is that if they’re going to cross the road and a car is coming, they vacillate between going the way they are headed or going back the way they came from and they aren’t always quick to decide which way to go. Often, the decision is taken away from them by the car. I get very sad when I see a squirrel lying in the road. I get sad when I see possums, deer, racoons … anything lying in the road, but I speak specifically of squirrels because they are important to what I’m sharing with you today.

God speaks to each of his believers if we are listening. Sometimes it’s a quiet, gentle nudge of a thought, sometimes it’s a firm reprimand, and a lot of the times it’s like a good friend sitting next to you, making an observation. That’s how it was this time.

On my way to church last week, a squirrel almost darted out in front of me and at the last minute didn’t. Thank you, Lord. And then a little further up the road there was one laying in the road that had been hit. I saw it again when I went home, and again when I went back for Sunday night service…where another of our Pastors talked about conviction. And then on my way home I saw the dead squirrel in the road again and God said, “People are like squirrels in their conviction.”

You might be saying “HUH?, and some of you might already have an idea where God was leading me with this. God requires us to make a decision regarding HIM. We have free choice to make whatever decision we want, but we must decide. God wants us to choose Him and follow the path He has set out for us, or we can choose to continue down the road we’re on that guarantees a death much like the flattened squirrel in the road. Our time for decision making can be taken away from us in an instant; in other words, if you vacillate between making that decision, that decision will at some point, be taken away from you; by a car, or cancer perhaps – something. That was the other thing he shared with me, that we don’t know how long we have. It could be 10 years, a few weeks, or a day. I know the older we get, the more we know this, but when we’re younger we don’t necessarily see it.

Anyway, I hope that now, when you see a squirrel after this, you might see them differently, or at least be reminded of what I’ve shared. Hopefully you’ll slow down a bit and not be the person/car to make the final decision for that squirrel if it happens to run this way and that in front of you. More importantly, if you haven’t been convicted in your decision for Christ, perhaps you’ll see a squirrel and remember that time is running out. Don’t be a squirrel. Don’t vacillate on the road of life between Jesus and the path you’re on now without Him. Just like for the squirrel, when that decision is taken away, there is no second chance.

Advertisement

Choices and Consequences

Posted on by tamaraweed

Recently (within this last year) I had someone say to me “I can’t even imagine doing to my family, what you did”.  It might come as a surprise to that person that before I made the choice to do what I did, I too, could not imagine doing what I did.  The thought of having an affair was not something I felt I’d ever do. I always believed that I would choose the higher ground, and make only the “best” choices.  After all, I always believed I was a person of good character and integrity.  In the end, I was human and imperfect.

So, did I explain all of that to the person who was attacking me with their dagger of judgement? No.  In the heat of that moment, with all of the intensity of emotion that was in play, my thinking was not as quick or concise as I might have hoped it to be.  But this isn’t about me. 

This is about someone else. Someone else who made a choice to turn to someone outside of her marriage for affection because of the verbal abuse and emotional neglect she was experiencing at home.  With alcohol fueling the abuse from her husband, and a mother who beats her down with words of negativity, and no thought to her daughter’s safety, she feels lost and unsure of whom can she turn to.  She’s dulled her pain with alcohol, but that didn’t heal anything. She was lonely and hurting and in need of someone to tell her that she mattered; that she was important. 

“Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see? Or does anybody even know she’s going down today?” Casting Crowns – Does anybody hear Her?

So she made a choice.  Should she have made a better choice?  Definitely. Is she a ‘bad’ person? No. Is she a person of good character and integrity? Yes.  Slightly tarnished, perhaps, but my answer is still yes.  But when we’re drowning, we reach out and grab onto the first thing we see, or that one something we think will help us cope.  Booze.  Drugs.  Another person. 

“She is yearning for shelter and affection that she never found at home. She is searching for a hero to ride in, to ride in and save the day.   And then walks in her prince charming, and he knows just what to say.  A momentary lapse of reason, and she gives herself away.”  Casting Crowns – Does anybody hear Her?

We imperfect humans make choices, many times bad, based on emotions, and life situations. All choices have consequences; and many of those consequences span years.  For the person in this particular situation one of those consequences is that her husband caught her with the other person.  Not a good consequence, perhaps? On the other hand, she can start making better choices. 

God is working in her life.  HE is the only one that can bring about the healing that is badly needed in her marriage, in her, and in her husband.  To close her eyes to the fact that God is inviting her to let HIM work through her, she will remain in an unhappy, unfulfilled, miserable life.  Or she can accept the invitation from God and let God do what only HE can do.  Does inviting God in mean that the consequences of her choices will only be good?  No.  There will still be tears and raw emotions and a lack of trust, on both sides.  There will be much looking ‘within’ to find the hurt inside that needs to be dredged up, understood, accepted and then given over to God for healing. There might even be a parting of the ways for her and her husband.  In the end though, there will be peace and the unconditional love that only God can provide. 

The choices we make in this life, and the experiences we have through those choices, are what make us who we are.  Life is about learning how to make good choices, and being taught to be fair and honest, and kind; of good character and integrity.  It’s about wanting to, and trying to be those things.  It’s about realizing that sometimes, despite our best intentions, even people of good character and integrity make bad choices. It’s about understanding that choices aren’t always made when we’re in the best shape emotionally.  It’s about seeing a person through their actions and not just the bad choices. It’s about seeing the atonement made for their mistakes. It’s about learning to forgive.

And, to really know how to forgive, one must know God and comprehend the depth of forgiveness and love that HE encompasses through the giving of HIS Son on the cross.